Top Ten Reasons Buying Socks for Your Dog May Not Be A Wise Investment

10:  Now you have up to 3 socks that can get eaten by the washer and ruin the set.

9:    Other dogs look at you funny.

8:   Your dog walks like he’s just joined the Nazi Party.

7:   The cost of emergency surgery from falling down laughing are exorbitant, and not covered by most insurances.

6:   The You-tube videos are going viral. PETA is threatening to send a delegation to your house.

5:   Matching 4 socks from the dryer is harder.

4:   To avoid number 5 and number 10, you buy many sets of socks, and your dog can look cool-like the local teenagers,  and not wear any matched socks at all.

3:  Neighbors shun you because of the whole Nazi Party thing going on in your yard.

2:   The National Guard is now responding to both the Nazi Party in your back yard, and the PETA party in your front yard.

1:   You are afraid to open your door, but the dog really, really wants to come inside now.  This isn’t funny anymore. The Peta people are setting up a trebuchet with armored  water melons unless you give in to their demands, neighbors are lining up their lawn chairs, and you are almost out of beer. You both may need to tunnel out via the sewer system, Ninja Turtle style. The National Guard has left via ambulance, for emergency surgery from falling down laughing and collapsed lung problems.  People are getting restless, cars are on fire, helicopters are circling overhead.

And all because you put socks on your dog.


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